Tell Me All the Hard Things From Before You Were A Christian
For Episode 018...
Jamie Ivey joins us to talk about how we talk about tough things that might be in our pasts with our kids.
You can listen to the Questions Kids Ask episode answering Tell Me All the Hard Things From Before You Were A Christian on iTunes, Stitcher, and Google Play, or listen below.
Jamie just released a book called If You Only Knew that I think is great, and has been hosting her podcast, The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey, for four years. Long before she did either of these two things, though, she got married to Aaron who is the worship pastor at The Austin Stone Community Church and birthed or adopted her four kids who are 10, 12, 12, and 14. I have to say, Jamie is seriously the real deal. She knows and lives her theology and is seeking to walk how Jesus would have her to walk.
Let's get to know Jamie. What is the best part of being a mom?
Jamie LOVES just being with her people. She also offered some hope to those of us with tiny kids, too, that the tantrums where they throw down on the floor WILL come to an end and the crazy sleeping habits and all-around intense attention they demand will calm down, too. The parenting changes, and I'm afraid may even become a little more difficult, as they get older and can not only form full sentences but are making decisions for themselves. Yet, it's then when they are also a ton of fun to be around. (I think this crazy toddler season is so much fun, too. Let's all just love the phase we are in when we are in it, right?)
Our big question for the day is this: Will You Tell Me What You Were Like Were Before You Were A Christian?
We talk a lot about what's different from before we were Christians to deciding to follow Jesus, but that doesn't mean it's super easy to talk about with our kids. That's no different for Jamie. Of course, we know that there's no weighting of sin in the Lord's eyes and that even one of the "tiniest" sins is deserving of death (Romans 6:23), there are some sins that do have weighter consequences. In Jamie's life, those "big sins" were premarital sex and abuse of alcohol, and sometimes we don't want to tell our kids because we don't want them to think less of us or to give them permission to do the same - because we want better for them.
I don't think we are giving them permission to do what we did, but are instead giving them a picture of the pointing them to a Savior. When we share, our focus has to be not what we did, but what Jesus did. We always point back to the gospel, being confident that we aren't so much sharing our failures, but shining a great big spotlight on our Savior.
Mistakes or failures DO NOT mean that we cannot be a good example. We will always fail God even when we love Him dearly and are following Him. We've been sinners since Adam, yet God chose to send Jesus to pay for sin. The Gospel is why we can share our story and point to Jesus instead. How gracious God is that He would send Jesus and forgive us. I pray that my kids won't remember what their mom did so much, but that they'll see a God who pursued their mom.
How do you help your kids prepare to face some of the same temptations that you faced?
I would love to put my head in the sand, and pretend like it won't happen to them, but I know that's not reality. We tell our kids about God's best design and there won't be a time that our kids remember when we have the talk about the birds and the bees. We talk about sexual purity a lot in today's age and talk about how sex is a gift and is beautiful within the confines of marriage. We want our kids to trust us, trust God, and know that if they fail that they can still trust us and trust God.
Featured Resource
What's Discipleship Look Like In Your House?
Discipleship seems to be this big, lofty term, but it's really just teaching people what you know. In our house, we seek to talk about Jesus in our everyday conversations. Do we sit down and read the Bible together sometimes, absolutely. But also, we just talk about regular things everyday and point those things to Jesus.